Living Dead
by RuneWitchSakura
Summary: Taken over for MysticWolfBlack. Sirius and James are plotting ways to “give lil ol’ Volders what he deserves” when Sirius ‘accidentally’ sends James flying into a tree and he disappears. James comes back to life…kinda. HPHG JPLE. On Hold.
1. It Was An Accident!

CHAPTER 1:

It Was An Accident!

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Three Years After Sirius Black's Death:

Lily was nervous, worried, and lonely. She hadn't seen or heard from James or Sirius for five days now. The last thing she had heard either one say was that they were going to "give lil ol' Volders what he deserves". She wondered if they could be killed again. Probably not. She thought briefly about looking in on Harry, but then discarded the idea.

Lily sighed and then went back to the book she was reading. After she finally admitted that she couldn't possibly concentrate on her book, she put it down. 'In some ways, heaven is such a rip off. You'd think with all the things a person could do that you'd never get bored, but no! I'm bored beyond all reason for what must be the millionth time since I died. Maybe looking in on Harry wouldn't be such a bad idea.'

She quietly got up and started walking to the main gates of Heaven. To look in on Harry, she first had to obtain permission and then she had to sign out. Getting permission wasn't hard and she was soon on her way. She loved flying. Now she knew how Fawkes, Headmaster Dumbledore's pet phoenix, had felt. The freedom was incredible. She saw Grimmauld Place and hastened her pace. She couldn't wait to see her son again. Since she was dead, Harry could neither see nor hear her. That was disappointing, but acceptable. She could deal with that as long as she was allowed to see her son. It had been a couple years since she had last done this, but it seemed like just yesterday. She wasn't thinking that her little boy would grow up. That's why she was shocked when she slipped literally through the door and saw them. She nearly had a heart attack, figuratively speaking.

Harry and Hermione had finally realized that they were meant for, destined for each other. They were sitting together on the couch, holding hands, and watching a movie. 'Since when has Hermione become such good friends with MY SON?! And did I ever give my permission that he could go dating? I'm not so sure I like this at all!' They were behaving themselves, not doing anything bad, but she still had a few rumpled feathers. This was her only son, after all! She began grumbling about it to herself and slipped back out the door. It wasn't fair that she was dead and couldn't get to know Hermione. Maybe she'd break Harry's heart.

She was still grumbling to herself as she began a slow return trip to heaven. She floated lazily over the rugged landscape, enjoying the scenery. All of the sudden, out of the blue, she reversed her direction and picked up her pace. Although she was not a habitually impulsive person/spirit, she decided to follow a whim and head back for Hogwarts. It had been a long time since she had last seen the place, since before Harry was born. The prospect of returning made her excited and she quickened her pace still more.

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Sirius and James were outside of heaven as well. They were in the middle of a thick forest working very diligently. What they were doing would be quite a bit more noticeable (if it worked) than what Lily was doing. They were trying to find a way to tink Voldemort bright, neon rainbow colors from heaven and make it so everybody but Voldemort himself could see it. This had been a challenge just to perfect the color scheme. James, since he was better at tinking than Sirius, had worked on the spell on poor Sirius, who was already regretting this prank. The experimentation wasn't going very well at all. Right now various parts of Sirius were tinking neon orange, blue, red, pink, yellow, green, and purple while his robes (wizards go back to wearing robes in heaven) had turned an ugly gray and were now skin tight. James looked absolutely mortified about this while Sirius was fuming.

"If I didn't want to get Voldemort back for what he did to you and me, no make that just me, then I'd tell you that I QUIT! However, I'll help you figure this out on two conditions," Sirius said with fire in his eyes. He conjured up a new set of robes and disappeared behind a large rock that was in the clearing they were in.

What are they?" James asked his friend uncertainly. "Or do I even want to know?"

"Yes, you do or else I refuse to be your lab rat anymore," came the muffled reply.

"Oh, all right. Name your conditions," James said and sighed heavily.

"First condition-" There was a pause as Sirius struggled with the robes, "I get as many breaks as I damn well want."

"WHAT?!" James shrieked. He could just see it now- they were never going to get anything done because Sirius would always be on break. "Fine!" he said sulkily as Sirius emerged and waved a finger at him. "It's as bad as blackmail." Then he laughed. "Get it? Black-mail?"

"Yeah, I get it. It's not all that funny, wise guy. Maybe you can get this Prongs," he said and waved his wand almost carelessly. As the wand passed over the ground, the forest floor James was rolling on in laughter rolled and buckled, sending James flying.

Not for very far, though; a tree was straight ahead of him, giving him about ten feet to gain momentum before slamming headfirst into it. His head hit the huge willow with a sickening thump! and he lay at its base in a crumpled heap, unmoving. Sirius' first thought was that he had just accidentally killed his best friend. Then he remembered that they were both dead and couldn't die again. He walked slowly over to his still friend and gently shook him. Then something really odd happened: James vanished.

"Oh SHIT!" Sirius yelled and jumped back in surprise. He looked everywhere for his friend and then began to panic. Something was really wrong. He called for James, but couldn't find him. Even James' wand had disappeared. There was absolutely no sign of him whatsoever. Now really panicking, Sirius sped off towards heaven to get help. This was more than he could handle.

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At the same time that James vanished, Lily was arriving at Hogwarts. The school was just as beautiful as it had been when she had gone there. Her breath quickened and she slowed her pace down to admire the gorgeous building. She "walked" up the front doors and went, literally, through them. Then something odd happened: she became visible. She could see herself in the mirrors she was passing. Then she remembered about Hogwarts' magic spells. 'To heck with walking then,' she thought and floated up near the ceiling. She turned around a corner and nearly ran into Peeves.

"Hey! Who are you? You don't belong here. We don't have any female ghosts here!" he said with evident shock.

"I'm Lily Potter. I just decided to come back and visit. Hey! Put that pea shooter down! That won't do a darn thing to me and you know it!"

"You always were my favorite student to pick on. Then again, Hermione Granger was a lot of fun to," he mused. Why are you back, though? I though you were all the way dead!"

"I am," Lily stated. "It has to do with the spells put on the school when it was first built. It helps to keep any unfriendly ghosts from sneaking up on the students and faculty and harming them."

"You always were a know-it-all," Peeves grumbled.

"You don't happen to know where McGonagall is, do you?" she asked eagerly.

"Well, as a matter of fact, I do. She's away on business. Something about one of her students being reported missing. Nobody can get a hold of her, or we'd tell her the dumb first year is back. He apparently thought he could go take a walk in the forbidden forest alone on a full moon night. A werewolf attacked him, and he's currently in the hospital wing."

"That's horrible!" Lily said with a look of horror on her face.

"He deserved it," Peeves said as he floated away. "I never have liked those Malfoy stuck-ups. He's Draco Malfoy's half brother, Lucius Malfoy's son," and with that he disappeared through a wall in the castle.

'Well, I guess I could wander around for a while, maybe even catch up with a few of my old professors at lunch,' she thought, and, like Peeves, went straight through a wall.


	2. Finding Lily And James

CHAPTER 2:

Finding Lily and James

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James shook his head. He was seeing stars. How had he gotten here? This place looked familiar, but why? And where had he seen it before? His first question half way answered itself when he remembered Sirius pranking him. His immediate reaction was one of revenge. Then he wondered where he was again. It was so familiar...  
Then it hit him; he was in the Forbidden Forest at Hogwarts. What was he doing here? He heard a loud, angry growl, and the biggest mortal dog he had ever seen tore into him. He tried to run, but the animal had him by the arm, growling savagely. Then the animal went for his throat, then his stomach. Oddly enough, it didn't hurt, and the dog wasn't doing him any damage.  
'What the hell is going on? I should be torn up pretty badly by now. Is this just my imagination, or am I just invincible or something?'  
Apparently, the dog was wondering the same thing. It sat back on its massive haunches, cocked it head, and looked at James with a surprised look. Then it lay down and stared at him in confusion. James got up and began walking in the direction the castle, if he remembered correctly, should have been in. The forest was dark and getting darker by the second, but James wasn't afraid. If that dog couldn't kill him, what could?  
He continued on his way through the forest, as Sirius made it to the Heaven Help Office.

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"Name?" the secretary asked, chewing on a piece of gum ('Heavenly Fruit' flavor).

"Sirius Black."

"Query for the Help Desk?"

"What the hell happened to James?"

"Okay," the secretary said, before printing out several pieces of paper. "Please fill out the forms and sign them at the bottom, then return them to get your number."

"Okay," Sirius said, sighing. He sat down in one of the chairs.

The first two questions, name and query, had already been typed into the forms by the secretary, so he skipped down to the third one.

'Please Explain Query.'

Sirius started writing. This was gonna be a while.

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Lily had rarely ever joined the Marauders on their pranks, mainly because she thought they were childish, save for a few well thought out ones.

Like the prank where they tried to turn Dumbledore's robes into a biker outfit. It had failed of course, but it was worth the attempt.

Another reason Lily would on occasion join up for a prank – the look on the prankee's face when they realized what happened. She always loved that look. And even better, was the look they had when they couldn't figure out what in the hell just happened.

And that was the look most of the staff members of Hogwarts were wearing at the moment. Lily had floated into the Great Hall, and no one paid her much attention until Flitwick squeaked.

"Lily!" the little Charms Professor squeaked out. "But you're not a ghost! Ghosts are pale; you've got color!" Then, apparently the fact that Lily was in front of him became to much for his brain to handle. Flitwick fainted.

Snape stared for a few minutes, before calling a house elf. "A big glass of Firewhiskey, and make it quick!" he ordered. The elf returned a few seconds later, and Snape downed the glass. Then he glanced at Lily.

"Nope, still here, not my imagination." Snape joined Flitwick in fainting.

"Lily!" Hagrid cried happily, running up to give the red-headed woman a hug. He went through her. "Huh?" Hagrid looked back, still running forward, until Lily yelled.

"Hagrid! Watch out!" Hagrid looked forward just in time to trip over James Potter and land on top of him.

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James had made it to Hogwarts, only to walk straight into the doors to the entrance hall. Apparently, he was solid now. James shook his head to clear it; he should have figured that out when the dog bit him. He opened the doors and slipped inside before walking the short distance to the Great Hall. James entered the Great Hall only to have Hagrid run into him.

"Ow," James said. Nothing actually hurt, but he was pretty sure that getting landed on by a half-giant was supposed to. 'Good thing I'm invincible,' James thought, 'Or I might not have survived this.' Hagrid twisted around, trying to get up without hurting James further. 'Really good thing,' James thought.

"James!" Hagrid yelled, after getting up, pulling James to his feet, "I'm sorry! Ar' ya hurt anywhere?

"Nope, I'm okay," James said, walking into the Great Hall unsteadily. "Hi, everybody! What happened to Snape and Flitwick?"

"James Charlus Potter!" Lily yelled. James yelped. "Did you sign out properly at the Gates?" she asked.

"Uh…"  
"You didn't!"

"In my defense, this is all Sirius' fault."

"And how is it Sirius' fault?"

"I was with him and the next thing I remember, I was in the Forbidden Forest, therefore this is, somehow, all Sirius' fault."

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Question 57: 'What is your favorite color?' Sirius stared at the paper, glanced up at the secretary, and back down to the paper.

"What does my favorite color have to do with this?" Sirius asked.

"Please fill out the forms and sign them at the bottom, then return them to get your number," the secretary repeated.

"Right."

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First part of the chap was written by the original author. This is part of an update of all my stories that are uncompleted. This is number twelve of twenty-seven. Please, read and review. Smiles!

Rune


	3. Dreaded Author's Note

To My Readers:

Yes, the dreaded Author's Note rather than an update. As I'm sure you noticed, I haven't updated any of my stories in well over a year, and several of them in well, several years. **I'm not giving them up, but it has been a long time, so here's the deal.**

I'll be slowly but surely moving them to my livejournal account. mchilz (dot) livejournal (dot) com The link will also be up on my profile. My e-mail is also mchilz (at) hotmail (dot) com. I know I've meant to put that in the latest updates, but well, the updates didn't happen.

This allows for two things:

(**One**) I will be able to keep track of when I've updated any fanfics (with fanfic in the title of the post), and will guilt myself into posting if I don't see one at least every two weeks.

(**Two**) I will be able to edit to my heart's content. I easily fix mistakes that I didn't quite catch the first time proof reading. I can also rewrite most of them. If you've read some of my earlier stories and some of my latest ones, you can tell that my writing style has changed a bit.

I've honestly looked back at some of them and thought, _I wrote this? Seriously?_

As soon as each story is done, it will be moved back over here. Not that I'm taking any of the stories down. The chapters already here will just be replaced. In the newest chapters I will have a note in bold at the top saying 'Read from the beginning'.

As for my livejournal, you'll know you're there when you see 'Random Writings' as the heading with 'MChilz' directly under it. On the left hand column, under the title 'FANFICTION LINKS' will be a link to the master fanfiction post (for everything and for each fandom) for easy access.

I update my livejournal a lot with amusing things that my cat or brother did, spiders scaring the crap out of me, writer's block, and every dream I can remember, quite a few of which will likely get turned into fanfiction themselves. So, you'll definitely want to use the fanfiction master post, so you don't get lost.

I will likely continue my updates at Twisting the Hellmouth, as that has different stories then here, but fanficion and mediaminer will have to wait for updates (I've forgotten my password to mediaminer and fictionesque anyway. So as soon as I figure them out, I'll post a similar note there).

Sincerely,

RuneWitchSakura


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